March to Keep Fear Alive

Thank God You made it here alive!

The March to Keep Fear Alive is a call to put the panic back into our panic rooms, and to restore the “AAHHHHH!!” back in AHH!-merica. Get ready to inadvertently wet your pants, Patriots! It’s American to have a little yellow on those Red, White, and Blue undies we all wear. We have enjoyed the spoils of freedom and liberty without being vigilant of our fears for too long, America.

Here we hope to capture the same spirit as Paul Revere, a true patriot and the greatest fear monger in American history. He rode through the night mongering fear until dawn. His girlish shrieks of “The British are coming! The British are coming!” helped fear spread throughout the American colonies like wildfire which is a real danger in dry summers like this one.

Keep posted here because anywhere else would just be a distraction from fear. We will have the latest news on the Keeping Fear Alive movement. Submit your thoughts and fears about the movement and we will post them here! Let’s build a community of fearful people and huddle around this campfire. Just remember not to have snacks in your pockets or the bears will come and eat us.

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  • Mary from CT

    Okay, It’s official. I’m joining Stephen CoBear’s March to Keep Fear Alive.
    I’m a real patriotic American, and like most self-declared “patriotic Americans”, I am paralyzed by fear.

    Fear of Wall Street. Fear of Main Street. Fear of Sesame Street, Fear of Sydney Green Street, Fear of Meryl Street. (Oh… wait a minute … those last two aren’t really streets … are they? Well, I don’t care. I’m afraid of them anyway.)

    I fear Tea Baggers. I fear Anti-Tea Baggers. I fear Coffeee Baggers. I fear baggers at my local Stop & Shop. Ever notice how they always put the eggs at the bottom, and the canned foods on top?) In fact, you name a Bagger of any sort, and I am filled with fear.

    Come on and join me, all of you like-minded fearful “patriotic Americans”. Let’s show the world just how truly fear-ridden and paranoid we are.

    (Paid for by the Palin/Gingrich/O’Donnell FearPotDome Party)

    M … M… Mar … Mary from CT
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  • Gmars111

    There is a typo: it should be “too long” not “to long.”

    • Anonymous

      fixed. thanks.

      • Mary from CT

        May I ask what color shirts we followers of Stephen Coal Bear should wear to this March?

        I know Hitler had his Brownshirts and Mussolini his Blackshirts and the Poles had their Polo shirts. Should we fearful followers of Our Fearfilled Leader wear Yellowshirts?

  • Nsight

    you’re all tools especially Stephen Colbert

    • RDSF

      If you don’t like it why do you even visit the website. Go back to the O’reilly factor site.

  • Tea-Me-More

    isnt that All Souls Day?

  • Janmajv

    I am afeared that I will have a movement at the movement.

  • Mary from CT

    I have been ruminating, (for the illiterate among us, that means I been THINKING), about the nomenclature (i.e. name) of this *rally*.

    “March to keep Fear Alive” sounds too negative to me. I think it ought to be named “The Pro-Perturbation March”. (No, you illiterates … this has no relationship to Christine O’Donnell’s *anti-masturbation* rant. Grow up!)

    I may be pro-judiced <—(okay … I made that word up. So what!), but I think my suggestion warrants serious consideration.

    Reader, what do you think?

    Ms Admittedly Perturberated from CT

  • KeaktheSNEAK!

    Stephen Colbert has got the magic in him :) …buuuutttt he’s not a witch..

  • Phylbob

    I just cannot wait for the rally…………I am sooooooooo excited but certainly AFRAID to go…